Hi all! Happy Hump-Day!
In the past week, I came across an article called “How To Be A Guaranteed Failure In Life”. It discusses about how people complain about how unfair their lives are and how they use self-pity as an excuse to not accomplish goals. It talks about entitlement and how it is poisonous. It also talks about how there is an antidote to that. And I majorly agree with the points. Read the article first before reading what I have to say, here is the link: https://chatrisityodtong.com/blog/life/how-to-be-a-guaranteed-failure-in-life/
However, there are some points that irk me. This article takes a look from an average joe’s perspective. From someone with mental disorders perspective, the scene changes ever so slightly. Yes, the problem still remains that I am still the source of my own problems. But, the world is unforgiving and unfair in that these debilitating mental disorders were handed on a silver platter to me against my own will; against my own choosing. That I blame on the world. That I blame on life dealing me a bad hand and being unlucky at almost every turn. That I blame on life always throwing me curveballs when I am not in the right state of mind to handle or cope with the curveballs. Yes, I indulge in self-pity at times, especially at my lowest point when I’ve hit rock bottom. In the article, the author says “I have very little patience for self-pity, especially if you are an adult.” But you must understand, when you at your lowest point in life, you don’t get to see the world through a bird’s eye view of the world and the grand plan you have for yourself. What you see is a very narrow point of view: your own issues and problems. Your main focus is what’s got you spiraling deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole. You can’t even see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. It isn’t about myself being the root cause of my own problems. The problems (i.e., mental disorders) are the root cause of my own problems. I can’t control when it’ll strike and how long they’ll last, and I hate that. However, throughout the years, I have learnt how to cope with these disorders. I can, to a certain extent, control the intensity of these disorders and how they affect me. So in this sense, I am my own solution.
I partly agree with the article that “[the] worst poison for the soul is the disease of entitlement.” The world does not owe us anything. Life and time will continue on with or without us. That being said, as someone with mental disorders and thereby a disability, I have the basic human rights to medical aid and support. This may come in the form of professional care, friends, and family. However, you must be cognizant of the fact that you also need to work on these issues yourself so that the aforementioned supports do not become a crutch that you cannot let go of. You have to speak up and fight for your right to be heard and not fear the societal taboo topic of mental health. Ask for help when you need it. Tell your friends and family what signs and symptoms they should be looking out for to help you when you cannot ask for help yourself. You are entitled to your basic human rights. So again, I am my own solution.
And lastly, the article talks about gratitude. This is very important and key to happiness. Always be thankful for the things in your life, even the bad ones. I have mental disorders and I am thankful for that because now I can share with the world, from my perspective what it’s like to live a life that constantly throws you curveballs when you’re incapable of handling them. When I’m manic I search frantically for solutions to combat my upcoming depressive stage. That is one variable that inevitably happens. I cannot eliminate this negative energy, as the article states otherwise. I cannot eliminate the negative thoughts or actions, I can curb them as best I can, but it does not eliminate. I can make it so my cross to bear is bearable. But even then, there are certain times when I lose hope and the tunnel vision closes off and all I see is darkness all around me. Those are the moments I fear most. Those are the moments when a grown ass man reaches his limits and breaks down. Those are the moments when counting your blessings counts for nothing because you can’t see nor remember them anymore. But in spite of all this, I am the source of my own happiness.
Bit by bit I am rebuilding myself, not just fixing. Fixing implies patching up holes and repairing things. I am rebuilding from the ground up, from scratch. It will take time. It will take energy and effort. But if I am to achieve my hopes and dreams, whatever they may be, it is a necessary step. In order to have the “courage to conquer [my] weaknesses, flaws, doubts, fears, and insecurities”, I need to rebuild myself. And so lastly, I am my own solution.
So to sum up, this article is, from a general perspective, is a positive one. It aligns, not necessarily with what my life is at the moment, but with what I would like my life to be. And no, life is unfair, that is not an illusion. There are things beyond our control, no matter the course of action we take. But we can take actions to curb the unfairness and make it work to our advantage. Take for example myself, I am using this blogging platform to spread awareness of mental health and to make it a societal norm to be able to openly talk about it without judgement. To be able to learn from it and understand that there are different perspectives from everyone. There is no one size fits all. It offers a chance for open discussion on how we, as a society, can progress and individually improve upon ourselves. We are the sources of our own happiness and the solutions to our problems.
If you have anything opinions, comments, thoughts, and/or personal stories, I invite you to share them in the comments below! This is an open space for discussion. As much as I’d like to make claims that this is a safe space, I, unfortunately, cannot guarantee it. But I do go through and approve of all the comments before they are posted and made public.
Cheers and have a great WTF rest of the week!