Sleep in Heavenly Peace

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Hi all! Happy Wednesday!

So for the past three nights I haven’t been sleeping very well. I keep having these horrendous nightmares of all my fears combined so I keep waking up. In turn I’ve upped the dosages required to keep me sedated which isn’t necessarily a good thing. A few weeks ago I missed my dosage and I ended up not sleeping the entire night and on top of that I was trembling uncontrollably until I took some Lorazepam to calm me down. That was not a good experience. I also had blood donation that same day so it made matters worse. I don’t know if it’s withdrawal or some combination of events that I’m unaware of but I was not in a good situation. On a much brighter note I finally got to donate blood, after a year of being deferred for having travelled to China. They were afraid I had caught malaria or something. I caught a cold when I was in China but that was due to carelessness. It ruined an otherwise wonderful vacation.

So after a month of being on the waitlist for my course I’m still waitlisted, there’s no chance of me getting into the course this semester so I am left with nothing to do. I’ve considered reapplying for my old job with the city. At this point in time in my life I am so confused and lost. I don’t know what I want to do with my life. My marks aren’t high enough to get me into what I want to do. It’s very upsetting. I don’t even meet minimum and yet I tried my best. Somehow I don’t think they’ll take “I tried my best” as a reason and let me proceed to the next level. So I’m stuck in limbo. I can’t do school because my grades aren’t high enough and I don’t have a job and I most certainly don’t have any money. And if I do get a job, will there be room for advancement? Will it become a career job for me? Will I enjoy doing the job for a long term period of time? I need answers but the more I look for answers the more questions I encounter. I wish there was a magic eight ball that could tell me the answers to all my questions and worries. Maybe that’s why I’m not sleeping well; I have too much on mind.

Does anyone out there have answers to my problems? Please feel free to leave some comments below! Have a great day!

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